Nostalgia
When I feel the urge to fly again, I would go skim through photographs of past trips, and reminisce the moments. Tonight, I browsed through the photos of Vietnam Mission Trip last year, and I can only say "ahh.."
The TEAM
Here are some photos that brought back most memories.. =)
FUN in the midst of workshops (Jeanie, this is for YOU!! haha!)
This is what PREACHING does to you (see the stress oozing out from mentor and mentees alike)
The first and probably last time I'm eating this.. WOOF!
There are so much more fantastic memories, but I am too lazy to post them all up lah.. In this mission trip, I got quite sick - a sprained neck, and fever, sorethroat and a real 'sexy' voice.. But thank God it was right after I preached! Must be the preaching lah! Despite all the suffering, mission trips never fail to stretch us and let God move. =)And in case you think a mission trip is all work but no play, think again.
Puke
These few days, I have been feeling increasingly sick. Not physically, but something within just feels like puking. As i continue to work, somehow, my eyes are being opened to more things in this world, just when I thought I have seen it all. I start to realize how protected I am previously!
Many things this week make me feel like puking:
- male colleauges who are frivolous with their speech - vulgarities, R(A), unkind words.
- the unseen politics, politicking, and backstabbing
- all the facade and lies that go on when there is actually no submission to authority
- mothers who abuse their child because of irrational reasons
- dysfunctional families that destroy children's lives
All these has been accumulated over the weeks, and it eats into my soul. Over time, I realize that my soul has been very sad and in quiet sorrow. Will it lead to despair?
Come to Jesus - a song that Eeleen introduced to me many years ago. This song floats past me, and reminds me of faith, hope, love. His holiness and perfect purity draws the tired soul, sick from the ugliness of this world.
The big struggle
Which is more important? To get tasks done, or to take time to enjoy the presence of a person?
I hate it when I'm too 'busy' doing so many things that I have no time to stop and give my attention to people. Just a superficial "how are you?" with a glazed answer "ok" will not suffice.
It's been long since I hung-out (past tense of hang-out) without any agenda. It's been long since I had enough time to meet a person to hear what's going on in his/her life. It's been long since I had energy to pursue the things I like.
I guess some things are inevitable. To adapt, I guess I have to practice the presence of people in the midst of tasks.
Been so busy doing up my new room (now that it is MY room) - painting, shifting furniture, cleaning up the thousand layers of dust, spring cleaning.It is an extremely tiring process, but it's satisfying to see the changes. Will post pictures up once I get a new camera. Joseph took the old one. =(
I still love my job, though it zaps a lot of energy. Can't imagine myself anywhere else in this season of life. My colleagues have told me that once I overcome this current class, no other class would be too difficult for me. That sounds great, now that the pain of teaching this class has diminished. I guess it's all about adapting. Tell you a secret! Whenever I call up the usual irritants to my table because they have for the millionth time misbehaved, I have learnt not to get angry inside but still sound firm on the outside. To do so, I interrogate them about their behaviour, and while they are hemming and hawing about their misdeeds, I look at their lovely eyelashes which I don't have. Some of them have such long lashes with doey eyes, that it makes me wanna hug them. (Of course, they all think that I'm staring at them strictly! If only they know that I'm actually only appreciating their eyelashes and laughing inside! haha!)
Teachers' Day cards are coming in already, and it's 2 weeks away. It's so easy to just take a glance and chuck it away, but really, gifts and cards from children are one of the most sincere gifts, even though they may be cheap. They write words that they truly mean, and buy gifts which cost a large portion of their pocket money. Even if some of the things may be 'impractical' to me, it must be because the children liked it, but chose to give it to me. We must all stop to appreciate these little gifts from big hearts. =)
I wish
Tonight is the night full of wishes.
I wished I was able to spend more time with you, you and you.
I wished I could give my listening ear to how your life has been.
I wished I could have spent more time hearing you talk about your experience.
I wished I took time out to spend with You.
I wished I found the answer to that subtle search my heart is seeking for.
I wished things didn't have to change between us.
I wished you know how much I appreciated what you did for me.
I wished I am on a mission trip.
I wished I am walking along the streets hearing the Thai language all around me.
I wished I could sort out the conflicting feelings of wanting to be overseas, yet loving Singapore very much too.
I wished I can be the very person God has called me to be, and walk the journey He has called me to walk.
Now, to turn these wishes into reality.
4am
It's 4am and I lay on my bed, unable to enter into a deep slumber. Somehow, all dreams are elusive to me at this unearthly hour where the whole of Singapore, traffic, birds, and even ants are asleep. I do not understand the cause of this perkiness - slept too much previously? hungry now? anguished over issues? crazy body clock? or maybe divine intervention?
Whatever the case, I decided to make do with the extra 2 hours I have before the rush hour for school starts. No point lying on my pillow willing myself to sleep when my mind is all alert and active.
The morning started with the routine check of emails, followed by a swig at Yomeishu.
(Yomeishu is my current resort to promote blood circulation as my body is frequently tired and lethargic, probably due to the lack of exercise). What should I do next? It's only 4.25am, and I have nearly 2 hours at hand.
A mental recap of the activities coming up these 2 weeks leaves me anticipating, excited, and occupied. Dear Sam is coming back tonight, finally! Dear bro is leaving tmr night. Thursday is the day I embark on revamping my room. Friday is workshop day where I get the special opportunity to learn how to use drama in the classroom (yeah! my new found passion!). Saturday is seminar day where Cheryl and I get inspired on making a difference as Christian Teachers. Regional Meeting is on Sunday, following it is a little darling's birthday celebration. I think there's more than enough this week to go through first, before next wk's share of departure, and dinners.
With so much time to spare and so little things that can be done at the wee hours of the morning (I can't thump my piano with fur elise no matter how melodious it may sound), I think it only leaves me to one thing, which may be the very reason why I am so awake at 4am. It's time to come before the Lord again, and to get started on Romans. Right, Jeanie? ;p
Really?
Some people believe that there are more deaths in the seventh month? In just these 2 days of weekend, I have attended 3 funeral wakes.
August seems like a busy and eventful month. Bro is flying off on 13th, Becky is also leaving this month. In sch, it's 2 weeks to the children's exams, that means more worksheets and rushing. National Day is also here, together with things like Teacher's Day Dinner. It's also time for my eye checkup - 2 months have passed!
Today, I spent a huge sum of money for the sake of beauty. tsk tsk. It's atrocious when I think about the sum, but then again, money can always be earned back.
