Walking this road to eternity..Walk with me, will you?: February 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

Fear

When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
Psalm 56:3

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Day 2 at Qifa Primary

It's my second day at Qifa, and things are getting better.

It was a bad start yesterday - the very first and crucial day of school for me. For one, the highly unlikely coincidence of having an alarm clock that suddenly slowed down thru the night happened to me, and I woke up late! So I had to prepare myself in a speedy 10min, speed to school, only to still be 10min late to meet the teacher. darn. It was truly a bummer, but well, ther'es nobody to blame. Murphy's Law just happened.

And perhaps because I got out of the wrong side of bed, everything wasn't that hopeful. I learnt that Qifa Primary has a rather 'slack & relax' culture compared to Nan Hua. And that wasn't very comforting to me, since I am in this super driven mode to give the best education to the kids. I also sat into a P4 class and was slightly disappointed that the teacher has to push the students to learn - very different from the classes in Nan Hua where all students are hungry to learn! It doesn't help comparing the 2 schs, because they are different, but i just can't help it. There are some things in the system and how things are done that makes me scream internally "Why like that...", and I feel powerless to change things, at least for now.

But day 2 proved to be much better and much more hopeful. For one, I got out the right side of bed, and had enough time to regulate myself and prepare for the day. It was also better, because I stopped comparing and be less critical. But what was truly the most enjoyable was when I looked at the students carefully - my p3s and p4s, and started to see how cute and adorable they are - the short chubby ones, the blur specky ones, the sweet little girls, and the talkative jokers. I am starting to love them already, and each one is so unique. =)

I am reminded today that God answered my prayers in terms of having favour with my colleagues and my students. My co-operating teachers (CT) are very nice and helpful, but what really struck me was my students. I shan't blog here abt what happened today (ask me, and I would tell you), but it was truly a spontaneous event which helped me see that God has indeed poured favour into my life. At the end of the day, I am once again affirmed to be a teacher in this season, and really hopeful and looking forward to see the kids tmr again. =)

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also

I'm finishing the 2nd month of being a Regional Leader, and I am glad to say that it has been a challenging and stretching experience. I am glad that there are opportunities to grow, and God is sharpening different areas of my life in serving Him. Growth causes discomfort, yet, absolutely necessary if you want to be alive. So I gladly embrace the times I have to step out of my comfort zone. Having left the Youth ministry for a year, I am also glad to find myself getting a hang of it once again, and seeing how God gradually develops my heart to have compassion for the youth again. This is familiar ground, and with God, nothing is impossible. =)

The tasks ahead are building up, and my heart and soul and mind is now very focused on nurturing and shepherding my CMs. I pray that this momentum would not depart me when I start teaching man. However, there are times I find myself limited - when having to confront in love, when having to correct errors, when having to speak the truth even though it hurts. Not only that, also learning how to balance being choleric, and yet being people-oriented. A balance is needed in ensuring that the CMs are equipped to do their job, but also remembering that it is the process, and their character and being that God ultimately wants to work on.

It was a great reminder to hear Rev. Rick Howard preach today about the judgment seat of Christ. Hearing that "All of us have to give an account of ourselves when we meet Jesus" left me questioning what I would say. What broke my heart was when he shared that the greatest regret would be in heaven, where God shows me the plans He had for my life, and the life that I lead was so different. Indeed, it spurred me on to wanting to live my life according to God's will. Just a few days back, God reminded me that He called me - from the very start of salvation, and throughout my walk with Him. I want to follow Your call, Lord.

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also".

The past week has been depressing lah. There were times it was hard to smile, and harder to share. But through it all, I saw that God was disciplining me, and molding my character. After godly sorrow, joy comes in the morning! And hence, how apt when we sang during worship today "His love lifted me". Strengthened to run the race again. yeah! =)

Friday, February 15, 2008

I wish I didn't have to feel this way.

What is life when it's lifeless?

Is my heart too hard? Maybe that explains why..

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Beyond Understanding

I started planting my chili seeds more than a week ago.. There was a little sprout, which made me so excited.. Look at Joseph's now!

It nearly died, but got resurrected! Amazing!

Look at Grace's! She planted hers 3 days after Jo and I planted ours, and hers suddenly sprouted and grew so beautifully!

See how prettily the leaves spread out

And look at MINE now.. Despite faithful watering, and care and concern, it has remained like that for days. Life is unfair, sighs.

I simply do not understand why.

But it's ok, I shall keep up with it, and one day, I will see it bear fruit. One day..

Some Snapshots of CNY

Declan at 5.5months - my most handsome prince

AHH cell steamboat at Jeraldine's place

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Growth

Everytime I walk to my kitchen sink, I would stop to check on little Chili, and see how it's growing. I never knew what precious lessons one can learn from gardening, and such excitement that can fill my heart. Could you see my face light up that very day where I saw a very tiny green sprout about 2mm out of the soil? Growth is amazing, I tell you, and I can't express just how proud I am of my little Chili sprout (just one, although I sowed 4 seeds). I look over at Joseph's cup and see one of his sprout towering at nearly 10mm! I just cannot understand why his grows so fast. Despite that, I am still very proud of my little Chili sprout - my baby. Do you know how much I look forward to seeing that little bit of growth each day? Maybe I should pray over it daily so that it would grow faster. =)

Speaking of growth, recent events have jolted me to be intentional in my growth. It is so easy to say I desire to grow, but to really grow requires intentional efforts! And so, on a good Wednesday, there were enough active molecules in me pushing me to get started on things - and boy, I felt like the day was the most efficient in the year.

Why growth? Reading a book by Dr. Howard Hendricks 'The 7 Laws of the Teacher' reminds me that the effective teacher always teaches from the overflow of a full life. As I say this year is a year for my roots to grow deeper in God, one of the intentional ways I'm going to try is to apply what I read/learn. It is meaningless when one collects all this knowledge and merely stores it in the head - tried and tested.

Walking this road to eternity..Walk with me, will you?