There must be more than this.
My mind has been doing a lot of planning these few days. If not plans for tmr, then plans for the week. If not plans for the week, then plans for next year. If not plans for next year, then plans for the years later.
I never knew drawing a salary would bring about so many other issues. It bothers me that I am spending so much time thinking about these things, yet I still think about them.
Clothes . Make-up . Car . Future plans . House . CPF . Investment . Insurance . Retirement . Unit Trusts . Credit Card . Entertainment . Facial Spa . Pampering Treats . Good food .
It's all about planning, it's all about being in control of your life. The question is : Are we really in control of our lives?
There must be more than this.Poor is the man who has no money. Poor is the man who has money.
I'm wondering..
Is there a place in heaven for mediocre and slack Christians?
Swan Lake, anybody?
Yes, I love dance very much. Especially ballet.
Singapore Dance Theatre is staging the most well known ballet in the world -
Swan Lake. 20th - 23rd December at the Esplanade. I am hoping to catch it on the 21st, right after leaders' retreat.
Tickets prices: $88, $68, $58, $48, and $38 , and
25% Discount if you buy min 5 tix before 22nd Nov.
Check out the website:
http://www.singaporedancetheatre.com/performance/swanlake.aspDo join me in enjoying performing arts if you can!
Quirky
Argh. Deadlines are probably the biggest struggle NIE students have. Every meal is over a project discussion, if not, the topic is probably about churning assignments. While my classmates are getting tight-jawed about upcoming deadlines, I am tight-jawed about something else...
I never knew working with people are that difficult. And I have never found it so difficult to accept and love people for who they are. Perhaps, social work at NUS was pure heaven - everybody were angels there.
Some people here in NIE:
(1) talk too fast and never stop to listen
(2) interrupt when you're talking - how rude!
(3) are so caught up with their own ideas
(4) are so luo suo you just wanna fall asleep on them
(5) are so direct, aggressive and confrontational that there's so much tension
(6) are not afraid to show black face and attitude
(7) are irresponsible for their words
(8) are so perfectionistic that i feel suffocated working with them
sighs. Though it has not been easy, I have been learning to love them bit by bit. It's a big struggle, especially when some of them are fellow Christians, and some of them where we even have prayer meeting together. It is so hard to pray together when you don't like someone. =( yet, it's even harder to smile and be genuine when someone you don't like gives you a card telling you how much impact you made to her life. argh.
i miss my angelic friends.
On another topic: I was reminded of why I joined teaching again last week during a good catch-up with Cher. We were talking about climbing to the leadership posts of HOD and principals, and cher declared with enthusiasm, "I believe in education!". And then, i understood where she was coming from. Teachers educate children. They help children to grown in knowledge and learning.
My statement is different: Teachers impact children. They have the power to build or tear down a child for life. I was reminded of my very first goal of teaching, and that is to whisper 'you're worthy' to a child when they are so broken from their dysfunctional family background. Now I know why i often face an internal struggle - because the state expects teachers to educate. To impact is a side agenda, and sadly, it is my main agenda.
It suddenly stuck out to me that I am still very social-work oriented. It feels like a misfit. Many have told me that to impact is such an idealized dream when teachers are constantly correcting kids and making sure they get As. Such an unheard agenda would eventually get consumed by the 'must-do's of a teacher's life. It is an uphill task, or dream perhaps. Yet, if I lose this dream, I would lost all meaning and reason for being in the teaching field.
And that's why I know, I must move on after 3 years.
I carry your heart with me - E. E. Cummings
I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
