Fly away!
I just had this impulse to fly away.. Of course not to spread my wings and fly, but to fly to other countries.. I know I just came back, but the urge to fly to some other land is there.. Is this an addiction thingy or something? Well, i know that i can't follow my impulse this time. In fact, most times.I guess there are push and pull factors. Pull-factors are understood. Or do I really think I know them? hmm.. But there are certainly push factors too. And Becky summed it up really well for me while evaluating some of my decisions the past year.. "You simply ran away.." I never knew that my defense mechanism was escapism. But I cannot deny, the evidence is all there. Running away is a natural reaction, to things that I cannot solve, to issues I cannot resolve, to emotions I cannot kill. Only this time, I've upgraded. I no longer run. I fly. Not only can I disappear emotionally, I can also disappear physically.
But esther, can't you just learn that running away does not help matters at all? Time will solve all things. Just give it time. As if. I run, and after running for so long, I'm back to square one. Or perhaps, i've been running in a circle?
Well, it doens't matter. Cos my running stops here. and my flying never started too. Becky's back, which means it's time to dig out the skeletons and move out of my comfort zone. It feels really tedious to start the motor again after slacking for a year. *gasp* You were slacking, Esther? Yes. slacking esther. =( It's really good to have a mentor. Hard work and commitment, but sure growth. =)
I have a love-hate relationship with memories. Sometimes, they are so lovable, becuase they simply add a smile to your face, and warms your heart. Other times, they are so detestable, because you wish they were never there, but they come flooding back. Love or hate, who am I to say? It's a gift from God, so embrace it!
posted by sDiEnDo @ 10:43 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home