A new hope?
If there's any word to describe how I felt the past week, it's dead. I felt like a walking corpse. Dead in all aspects. But before your alarm bells start ringing, let me assure you that it ain't necessarily bad.Death to my dreams,
Death to my hopes,
Death to my passions,
Death to my visions,
Death to my feelings,
Death to my interests,
Death to my energy,
Death to my self-concept,
Death to my self-expectations.
There is, however, a glimmer of hope in all this stench of death. Because only when all of me is dead, then can there be a start of His Life and Will in me. It seems farnie to be in this stage immediately post-retreat, where I should be jumping up and down with all the hype, and not reeking of death. But yes, it is a deeper work nonetheless, and yes, I will wait for You.
In the midst of urgency and pressed for time, I am extremely thankful for God-sent angels. For people who offer to help in EA prep whatever way they can, for people who show concern of how things have been. When I am in despair, God sent you to give me hope.
To you, who so sacrifically helped me to translate the extremely difficult and technical Youth Workshop, despite work and a tight schedule. "Thanks" really fails to capture my heartfelt gratitude. We'll hang out soon, yah?!
To you, who called me just to offer me your help. I really wished I was able to let you help me with the translating, but it seems the script has yet emerged. Nevertheless, I reallie appreciated the offer, and yes, it is the thought that counts. =)
To you, who gave me a pat on the back and said "Jia You!". Just 2 words, and a touch, and it meant a lot.
I am still wondering how stupid was I to commit to so many things at this time. No looking back, and trudging through my responsibilites, I can only say "Lord, may Your will be accomplished as I offer whatever little I have left."
posted by sDiEnDo @ 9:32 PM
2 Comments:
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know which "you" i am! and you know what, i have angels of my own coming to my rescue too! from aussie some more! i sent you the bahasa thing already. but after i sent you, i realised that i can handle the thing on my own, since all the translation is there already.
angels from aussie and indonesia! haha well not literally lah, but they are so helpful. thank God!
-- bless the Lord, O my soul. all my inmost being, bless His holy name! --
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