Back in School!
Finally, the long-awaited day has come.. I had my first day of school for this semester today.. and I'm officially a Year 4 - the most senior. hehe.. It feels good to be back lah, walking along the classrooms bring back a certain nostalgia.. Memories come flooding back, some making me grin, some making me sigh, but nevertheless, they are memories. Bringing Yiting and Priscilla around school today was kinda enjoyable - I felt like a tour guide.I am starting to believe that I am not in Year 4 by chance. And for the first time in my NUS life, I am really starting to believe that NUS is my mission field. It took me so long huh. Well, the furthest distance is between the head and the heart.. Starting the semester with a prayer of dedication, I think it's gonna be a meaningful year.. =)
It has only been about 2 weeks plus since I came back from China, still re-adapting in some sense.. But in these 2 weeks, I began to see a lot of myself. Of how I have changed, of the things I hold dear, and the destiny I embrace. It is exciting, as I begin to see a bigger picture of my future and destiny, and I am truly amazed at how God walks me by His grace.. It really is a process, and as I look back, I wonder, how did I ever come this far? And the more I wonder, the more I am certain that it was never about me. Nothing I did deserved what I am today. But it is truly God, who set me on this path, to be set apart.
Of course, being set apart ain't that easy. There are things to sacrifice, things to let go, things to entrust, and things to surrender. Is it worth it? You bet.
A visit to the new NUS counselling centre to visit Sis Ervina brought some insights too. I did a personality test for fun, even though I thought I knew myself pretty well. The questions were typical, my responses were expected. But the analysis caught my eye, and perhaps, it was another angle to this process God has been doing in my life.
This is the analysis of my personality :
Life's Natural Leaders
- Hearty, argumentative, and robust
- High need for control and unusual leadership abilities
- Life is a chessboard where pieces need to be moved - by them - for the greater good
- Life unfolds through confrontation, arguing, and engaging with one another in the name of learning
- Impatient
- Sharp-tongued, harsh, seemingly unforgiving, can be devastating to those they criticize - including themselves
- Most commandeering - need to share affection plainly
It wasn't what I expected, because it was quite different from the previous time where I was "easy-going, peace-loving, stable..." But I have to admit, this description is rather true of late.. Assertiveness, the art of delegation, and commandeering - all these I saw it rising within me. And honestly, I do not know whether it is good or bad.. but one thing I know, I was made, for such a time as this.
Perhaps, the nutshell of it all, was the title of my personality - life's natural leaders. It shocked me, because I always knew myself to be a follower. At least, a few years back. Just what happened, Lord? It is really exciting evaluating and comparing how one has grown over the years, because I know that I am one step nearer to what I was made to be.Do I take delight in my newfound identity? Largely yes, because I see much more challenges ahead, much more steps that I can overcome, and how much I can do. Honestly, I do feel like a superwoman at times. haha. (that is, when I am not in some pit crying over how pathetic I am lah..it's only times when I feel so empowered, with such added strength and grace from Abba Daddy) The setback of being a 'superwoman'? It's hard to find superman nowadays. haha. and yes, it was a great reminder this week, that superwomen often walk alone. Stuck at the crossroad, I still chose to walk on, because superwomen may walk alone, but they do not walk lonely. =)
posted by sDiEnDo @ 6:49 PM
2 Comments:
Amen to the superwomen line! I love it. Absolutely love it.
For such a time as this.
Indeed for such a time as this.
I like that outlook. It speaks volumes of how you've allowed your heart and passion to be shaped.
As for superman, don't worry too much about it. Sometimes, Supermen look more like Clark Kents than we percieve ;)but if you look hard enough beyond those glasses, you'll find him :)
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